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  1. Be a slave who is forced to accomplish something amazing
  2. Have talons instead of fingernails and toenails
  3. Have tiny octopi on the ends of your fingers that strongly suction onto every surface they touch
  4. Find a grave in the graveyard with your name and birthdate and a death date of today
  5. Urinate Gasoline
  6. You're being chased by six dozen slow zombies
  7. Speak like the Swedish Chef
  8. You have psychoactive hallucinations every day UNLESS you consume 150 micrograms of LSD each day (in which case you function completely normally)
  9. Discover human remains in your basement
  10. Burn your tongue


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