You have to pick:

Eat a monkey testicle

Ranked 1239 of 1996

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Have the most horrible BO ever that you can't cover up or get rid of. However, you can't smell yourself

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85% prefer Eat a monkey testicle

Eat a monkey eye

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33% prefer Eat a monkey testicle

You fall into a vat of whatever this option is paired with (or the closest thing that makes sense (leave a comment indicating what you think this is))

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100% prefer Eat a monkey testicle

RbrtKurtz

What's worse than a vat of monkey testicles? A vat of eaten monkey testicles. Gross.

Eat a tablespoon of meat/flesh of completely unknown origins

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36% prefer Eat a monkey testicle

bryan.derksen

Well, a monkey testicle would be kinda gross to eat, and depending on the monkey species kind of morally repugnant too (some monkey species have near-human intelligence levels whereas others are just dumb animals).

But at least it's guaranteed to be "safe". The unknown meat could be anything - ground poison arrow frog, plague victim fillet, a chunk of my own cardiac muscle. So I'm going to skip out on the mystery meat.

JonThompsonsEmail

I don't think it can be your own cardiac muscle, because you would KNOW where that came from.

Eat nothing but mustard for the rest of your life

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50% prefer Eat a monkey testicle

gruntspwn

I... wouldn't mind mustard...

Eat a bowl of poop that tastes like chili

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62% prefer Eat a monkey testicle

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