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Options 1429 to 1439
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Be a defense attorney whose clients always go to jail, even if completely innocent
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Humans were born in a limbless larval state similar to a giant maggot with a humanoid face. They're as intelligent as normal children and can learn to speak but only metamorphose into adult form around their sixteenth birthday.
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Have a really bad toothache
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Eat nothing but Burger King for the rest of your life
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50% of the time when people speak you only hear incoherent mumbling (everyone else hears the personal normally)
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Your full name is equivalent to all of the words spoken by and around you throughout your entire lifetime
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Be a dwarf
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Have a prominent pair of tusks
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Become a horse
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You were abducted by aliens and returned a day later with an unremovable ear tag and tracking collar.