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  1. Whenever you told a lie your pants caught fire
  2. Your head and body separate but remain alive. Your head can float around at "head height" and can give voice commands to your body. Your body has a primitive intelligence and obeys your commands. It cannot see or hear.
  3. Eat a monkey testicle
  4. Live off a government welfare program
  5. Be thrown in the ocean with a backpack full of cinder blocks
  6. Wake up covered with scales
  7. Swim with hippos
  8. Be unable to eat artificial flavors, colors, and preservatives.
  9. Fall into a vat of manure
  10. Wake up to find your ear stapled to the ear of a random stranger


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