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Options 1179 to 1189
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Fight Chuck Norris
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Be unable to wear any shoes other than soccer cleats for the rest of your life
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Discover that you have an evil identical twin who's trying to ruin your life
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You can't open doors on your own, someone else has to do it for you.
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Have you entire mouth stuffed full of diced habernero peppers
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50% of the time when you go to speak you just mumble incoherently
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Have an ingrown toenail
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Die hard
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Earth's surface tips 90 degrees over the course of the next few years. The north pole is now in the middle of the Pacific Ocean (155 degrees west latitude), the south pole is in the middle of Africa (25 degrees east latitude), and the equator roughly runs through Nova Scotia, Venezuela, and the center of Indonesia.
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In exactly ten years every human will transform into a blue whale. These blue whales will be regular blue whales in every way except they will possess the memories and same intellectual capacity as their original person. Everyone knows this is coming.