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  1. No matter how often you wash your hair it always looks dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always feels clean
  2. Live in a thought provoking dystopian future
  3. Embrace hedonism
  4. Have leopard spots
  5. Go skinny dipping with Benito Mussolini
  6. Share a house with someone with athletes foot
  7. The elevation of all points on the earth inverts around sea level. Mountains become the bottom of the ocean and deep sea trenches become the new mountains.
  8. Never hear another pun again
  9. Have a long, luxurious ponytail that's permanently decorated with a big silk bow
  10. Be an adorable little beast covered with silky pink fur.


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