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Options 946 to 956
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Your only way of showing compassion is by saying "I pity the fool"
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Every inch of your body was covered with tattoos (of your choice)
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Have leopard spots
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Embrace hedonism
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Go skinny dipping with Benito Mussolini
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The option this is paired with doesn't happen to you: instead it happens to all of your siblings
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Share a house with someone with athletes foot
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Blow your nose, look at the Kleenex, and see what looks like brain tissue
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Never hear another pun again
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Have a long, luxurious ponytail that's permanently decorated with a big silk bow