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No matter how often you wash your hair it always feels dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always looks clean
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Every time you sit down to each any meal there is a 50% chance that it has transformed into a plain ham sandwich
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Be unable to feel sorrow
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Live in a world of perpetual Christmas
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Your eyes taste delicious and are easy to pop out and eat. When you pop them out they grow back in 60 seconds.
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You suddenly appear completely naked in the middle of the nearest large wilderness in the middle of summer. The only object you have is a special compass that always points toward your vehicle which you know is 2 miles away and has clothes and everything you need to get back home.
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10,000 starving crazed tigers are parachuted onto Washington D.C.
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Live in the Star Trek universe but wear a red shirt
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Live in the Dragon Age universe
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Your life is a musical. You and everyone who interacts with you communicates through song