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Options 581 to 591
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Eat a handful of swedish berries
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Your left forearm is replaced by a shotgun. You can fire it at will and it has unlimited ammunition.
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Become permanently invisible. Anything you wear becomes invisible while you're wearing it.
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Become a unicorn
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You have a magical sniper rifle. Any target hit disappears forever. No-one is upset and there are no repercussions for you. But... if you ever miss with it the universe immediately ceases to exist.
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Call your boss a dirty crab
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Get a velociraptor for Christmas
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Be one of the minor characters in Zelda
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Be unable to feel guilt
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Be able to belch the national anthem