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Options 1813 to 1823
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Be continuously farting at all times
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Excrete a porcupine
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Gnaw on a zombie's face
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Wake up with two heads. The other head is that of a perfect stranger who is just as surprised to wake up like this as you are. Each of you controls just one side of your shared body.
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Eat a snot pie
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Every time you see a beautiful girl you turn into a manatee
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The world ends in a massive solar flare
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Be murdered by leprechauns
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Have toes for ears
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Completely betray your best friend