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Options 1769 to 1779
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Everyone else smells like the most horrible BO ever to you (but to themselves and everyone else they smell normal)
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Have a parrot-like beak instead of a human nose and mouth
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Listen to Rebecca Black forever
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Lose all of your teeth
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Sleep on a pile of full garbage bags every night
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Have a 3-month old baby for the rest of your life
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The only food that gives you sustenance is mosquitoes
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When you die you go on to a blissful afterlife UNLESS someone takes a photo of you full in the face. If that happens the photo steals your soul so that when you die you just cease to exist. Furthermore, in this life your lack of soul will mean you are cursed with misfortune.
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Be a bean
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Swim forever in a maple syrup pool