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Options 1676 to 1686
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Be Jabba the Hutt
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Everyone thinks that you're actually a dog and treats you like one
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An unkillable spirit of vengeance keeps striking you repeatedly with an ordinary tablespoon. Each blow is only a minor annoyance, and you can run away from it for brief periods of time, but it will always follow you and will never, ever stop.
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Forget about everyone you know
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Humanity is brought to the brink of extinction by a pandemic.
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Wake up one morning to find that, although you haven't actually changed genders, you look like you have.
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Wake up covered with cockroaches
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Sweat cheese
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Have a heart attack
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Be a turkey weighing everyone else down