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  1. Chaperone a middleschool dance forever
  2. Be Jabba the Hutt
  3. Everyone thinks that you're actually a dog and treats you like one
  4. An unkillable spirit of vengeance keeps striking you repeatedly with an ordinary tablespoon. Each blow is only a minor annoyance, and you can run away from it for brief periods of time, but it will always follow you and will never, ever stop.
  5. Forget about everyone you know
  6. Humanity is brought to the brink of extinction by a pandemic.
  7. Wake up one morning to find that, although you haven't actually changed genders, you look like you have.
  8. Wake up covered with cockroaches
  9. Sweat cheese
  10. Have a heart attack


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