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  1. Everyone always talks to you in baby talk
  2. Have paws and never be able to pick up anything
  3. Everyone thinks that you're actually a dog and treats you like one
  4. Chaperone a middleschool dance forever
  5. An unkillable spirit of vengeance keeps striking you repeatedly with an ordinary tablespoon. Each blow is only a minor annoyance, and you can run away from it for brief periods of time, but it will always follow you and will never, ever stop.
  6. Always be looking for the dearest thing to you and never be able to remember where it is
  7. Have no thumbs
  8. Humanity is brought to the brink of extinction by a pandemic.
  9. Forget about everyone you know
  10. Be a turkey weighing everyone else down


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