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  1. Have projectile fiarrhoea
  2. A genie appears and asks you for three wishes. After you make the wishes it reveals that is is evil and will do everything in its power to make sure that those wishes NEVER come true.
  3. Be a cat-sized beast covered with tentacles
  4. Have large rat-like incisors. They grow continuously, requiring you to gnaw on things or grind them regularly to keep them from getting too long
  5. Over a 40 day period the water level of the earth rises to 1 foot above Mount Everest, it stays at that level for 40 days, then recedes over 40 days.
  6. Every morning you must wait while makeup is applied to make you appear as a Klingon
  7. Have an odd and irritating little laugh after every sentence you utter (uncontrollably), all the time
  8. Never be able to eat solid food again
  9. Wherever you go, all electronic devices within 10 meters of you disintegrate
  10. Your only method for communicating with other humans was Facebook


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