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  1. Every morning you are woken up by someone punching you in the face.
  2. Always feel like you have to sneeze and not be able to
  3. Your personality suddenly changes so that you agree with everything Donald Trump has said publicly. All other aspects of your personality remain the same.
  4. Be impoverished and hungry for days at a time
  5. Excrete a crab
  6. Only eat cucumber for the rest of your life
  7. Have ears on the bottoms of your feet
  8. Your neighbour who you don't get along with successfully gets you fined $10,000 when you didn't do anything wrong
  9. Your tears are boiling hot
  10. All radioactive material on Earth and it atmosphere is suddenly replaced by an equal volume of graphite


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