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  1. Have a terrible case of head lice
  2. Become a wererat
  3. Get punched in the ear everyday for one year
  4. Eat a whole deep fried cat in one day
  5. The entire surface of Earth is suddenly covered in a six foot thick layer of veal cutlets
  6. Magical elves from a parallel fantasy-based universe invade our reality and enslave humanity when our advanced technology proves to be no match for their spellcasting ability
  7. Take an eye for an eye
  8. Be a defense attorney whose clients always go to jail, even if completely innocent
  9. Live with "The Ex" for all eternity
  10. A volcano erupts in the city second nearest to you, destroying it and becoming active on an ongoing basis


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