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  1. Eat a donut that has been licked by all of your co-workers
  2. Be named Shutup
  3. Be a herbivore, only capable of digesting plant matter
  4. Always wear rollerblades
  5. Fall into a vat of manure
  6. The Punisher bears you a minor grudge
  7. Everyone except you knows aliens exist, but they hide it from you and mock you behind your back
  8. A vat of boiling water materializes around you. One second later it disappears.
  9. Find out the Bea Arthur is your real mother
  10. Every time you sneeze you fire a shotgun blast out of your mouth.


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