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Options 1060 to 1070
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It turns out dogs are the smartest beings on the planet and humans exist mainly to serve them
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Be extremely competent but have no self confidence
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Get into a large bathtub of room temperature cola (of your choice) and be unable to leave until you drink it all
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Eat dog food
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Only be able to read things backwards
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Compulsively end every sentence with the word "pie"
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Be a dish that ran away with a spoon
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Win the lottery, tell all your friends you've won, start celebrating, but then, as you go to pick up your money you realize you read the ticket wrong and you didn't actually win
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Sit at a desk all day
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In exactly ten years animals larger than a Pygmy marmoset will transform into a blue whale. These blue whales will be regular blue whales in every way except they will possess the memories and same intellectual capacity as their original form. Everyone knows this is coming.