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  1. Every year on your birthday you receive a bill for 17 Canadian dollars for "fusion services." Until you mail the requested funds in the envelope provided you become unable to perceive the Sun or its sunlight - the world appears to be in permanent night to you. Nobody believes you if you try to explain any of this.
  2. Never be allowed to eat anything EXCEPT your favorite food ever again
  3. Be forced to only use your least favorite web browser from now on
  4. Have a hot from the oven pizza slapped in your face
  5. Live on lamb
  6. Crocodiles can now teleport
  7. Be unable to lie
  8. Live in a glass house for the rest of your life
  9. Be hated by 10,000 people
  10. Humans had a dolphin tail (but still also have legs)


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