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You have to pick:

Your hands are replaced by moderately-powerful vacuum cleaners.
 
or
 
Whenever you hear the word "chair" you must shout "TABLE" at the top of your lungs

 
Comments
jonnyt_

I'm thinking that you'd end up excreting whatever your "hands" suck in

revegelance

That would suck.

Maliggy

I would pick the "shouting 'table' at the top of my lungs" just for the lols of it all.

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