I'm thinking that you'd end up excreting whatever your "hands" suck in
That would suck.
I would pick the "shouting 'table' at the top of my lungs" just for the lols of it all.
Where should this comment appear?
This pairing only
Whenever "Your hands are replaced by moderately-powerful vacuum cleaners." appears
Whenever "Whenever you hear the word "chair" you must shout "TABLE" ..." appears